Saga Review: Twilight?

Hahaha, no.

Did you really think I was going to waste eight hours of my life watching the four Twilight films in preparation for Breaking Dawn Part 2? I may watch a lot of movies, but I sure as hell am not going there.

It isn't like I've not considered it either... oh I have, just so I could back up my arguments, but having heard so many people's opinions, people I trust, I know without doubt that watching this series would only be an exercise in determining what order they would go in at the bottom of my Worst Films of the Year list!

All you need to know is that Twilight offends me in so many areas that I hold dear, the principle areas being in fiction writing and film.

So what can I do instead of ranting like everyone else with a keyboard can? Well, I chose a very pleasant alternative, and I offer it to you too. Vampires do not sparkle, forget Twilight; because for the four films I could have reviewed, I give you four films that are actually about vampires.

If you like Twilight, I offer some education in both vampires and sanity.

Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992)

It would be a crime to forget Francis Ford Coppola’s Dracula from 1992, the director of the Godfather gives us a near definitive tale of Dracula, as a man and as a monster.

Closely following the novel by Bram Stoker, the film sees the demise of the Romanian Vlad the Impaler (Gary Oldman) transforming him into Dracula, a creature of the night who can change shape, seduce and murder and “turn” others into vampires. Seeking one as beautiful as his dead wife, he is led to London and preys upon Mina (Winona Ryder) and killing anyone else in his way.

Perhaps one of the most iconic horror films of the early 1990s, Dracula was regarded too gory for cinema and had to be cut after tests screenings, the film may have dated somewhat but still retains a massive amount of atmosphere. It is an eerie, theatrical piece; the camera work Coppola uses is creative, relying greatly on composition and shot transitions. Coppola actually fired his initial special effects crews for their insistence on using digital effects, hiring instead his own son for making the effects practically. Nowadays, this decision gives the film an even more unsettling mood! Dracula’s powers are wonderfully portrayed; from clever uses of reflections (or lack thereof!) to the weird disembodied shadow play.

Gary Oldman is fantastic as Dracula and Vlad; he really gets into the role and the numerous beastly transformations the character takes on. Yes, Oldman went through the make-up requirements in all but one occasion! Antony Hopkins as the sociopath Van Helsing is greatly entertaining, making the man near demented with his brilliance and obsession.

Unfortunately, there is one thing wrong, and that was Coppola’s decision to hire Keanu Reeves as the hero Jonathan Harper, who is captured within Dracula’s castle. He hired him for his looks, and that was about all he got! Comparisons of Reeves’ absence performance here and Kristen Stewart’s current career would be ripe for the picking! Reeves has admitted he was never happy with his performance, claiming he was tired from working multiple film projects at the time of shooting.

I was eight when Dracula was released, and while it was a while before I could see it, watching it again now is a very nostalgic experience. It is a film filled with blood, monsters, sex and seduction. I still enjoy it nowadays, even with some of its dodgy accents!

Interview with the Vampire (1994)

If you want the definitive story of vampires, what they are, what it means to become one and the turmoil and crazed antics that go with the myth, look no further than Interview with the Vampire. This cannot be stated anymore bluntly!

A man in San Francisco finds himself interviewing a soul-searching vampire named Louis (Brad Pitt) who is seeking closure to centuries of turmoil after being turned into a creature of the night by a malicious vampire called Lestat.

Louis tells his story that begins in 1791, when he is seeking an end to his vacuous mortal life, only to discover that the immortal life given him is not as rewarding as he had hoped. We see Louis struggle with his new nature and his attempts to live without killing innocents and learn what he can about his new existence. In stark contrast, we see the flamboyant and selfish Lestat relishing the life of a seductive murderer. The unlikely duo sire a young girl (fresh faced starlet Kirsten Dunst, who acts equally as well as her heavyweight co-stars!) and create a bloodied family, only for their differing natures to finally drive them apart.

Based off the popular novel of the same name (author Anne Rice even wrote the film’s screenplay!) the film is excellent and goes through every piece of vampire lore and mythos with a fine-tooth comb. It is studious and practical, witty with black humour (Tom Cruise is clearly enjoying himself, vanishing into the role of the villain!) and insightful about immortality when it needs to be; seeing these characters journey through time, ageless, adapting (or perhaps not) to new societies is fascinating. There is plenty of action too, the film’s climax is hellish and incredible to watch.

Vampires are killers by nature, and the film has a lot of respect for their history and lore, while having a subtle underlying humour. The creatures have never been so well depicted, and may never be again.

The Lost Boys (1987)

A movie completely trapped in the 1980s, but it is great entertainment!

When a mother and her two sons move to California the eldest son Michael becomes fascinated by a group of bikers and the girl in their midst, while his younger brother meets two strange boys who are convinced a coven of vampires are the cause behind their town’s missing children.

There is a strong sense after watching this film that it inspired the look and feel of Joss Whedon’s television show Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the most obvious being the near identical vampire makeup. The Joel Schumacher film has a lot of comedic beats, especially around the young Sam and the two vampire hunting boys; reminds me of 1985s The Goonies. A young Kiefer Sutherland plays an excellent vampire though, adding to the film some intensity and ferocity.

It takes a bit of time to get going perhaps; made more so nowadays with the heaps of 1980s pop culture references that gush from the dialogue. It is a film of two halves for the most part; we have Michael’s torn romance with Star, which gets him involved with the biker gang, and the goofy antics of children hunting vampires. Stick through it though, because the film’s final act is great fun as these elements of horror and comedy crash together! “No two vampires are alike” it is explained when talking about how vampires die. How true!

An iconic 1980s film for sure, but in terms of a teenage vampire film, this one is done right! Sometimes a comedic edge is needed to make these stories more accessible.

Blade (1998)

Only four years after the traditional vampire story was told by Interview, Blade arrives and not only pulls the creatures into the next century but delivers an adult-driven comic book adaptation. (1997 seeing the dreadful Batman & Robin)

With the cities rife with vampires and the upper hierarchies of society controlled by them, Blade seeks to destroy them. He is known as “The daywalker” a man born with vampire strengths but none of their weaknesses.

Credit is due to the late nineties and early 2000s, Blade demonstrates exceptional pacing and atmosphere as well as excellent fight scenes! Most people still remember the iconic opening scenes of the film featuring Blade interrupting a vampire rave beneath showers of blood. It should be noted that the film is written by David S. Goyer, who would go on to write the stories for The Dark Knight film trilogy.

Wesley Snipes as Blade is vastly entertaining, playing a superhero that doesn’t live by any code or conduct; he simply enjoys running in and slaughtering as many vampires as possible, looking damn good while doing it. Cannot forget the shades! While he does let loose some wisecracks, Blade is a quiet protagonist, and his brooding nature is amplified by the film’s own morose atmosphere; it knows when to stop ripping people’s throats out and tone things down.

After Blade there would be a tidal wave of vampire movies set in today’s world, following the film’s clever use of high-tech gadgetry to fight and explain the vampire myth, including Underworld, Daybreakers as well as its own two sequels.

It is bloody, violent and executed extremely well in terms of blockbusters. Blade should be remembered as one of the best dark comic book movies.

Now I know, there are plenty of other vampire films that deserve reviews... and I had a hard time choosing only four, but I chose these because they stick in my mind as definitive and each of them display different ways vampires can be portrayed well.

Others I wanted to list:
Nosferatu - Of course, only the original vampire movie could suffice, a definite education in both film history and vampire lore.
Cronos - From my favourite director Guillermo Del Toro, Cronos isn't technically about vampires, but it has the exact same themes and addresses the desire of immortality better than any film I've seen.
Dracula (1931) - The classic Dracula movie with Bela Lagosi, while famous I didn't think it was prominent enough in the case of "versus Twilight" as the others.

Of course there are others like Fright Night, Daybreakers and Underworld, as well as Blade 2 which I hold in high regard (Del Toro's directing again!). Also Joss Whedon's Buffy the Vampire Slayer, especially its second season, is incredibly good and I recommend anyone who hasn't watched it to do so. It goes through the same sort of relationship issues as Twilight only with the good sense of keeping with the lore!

So, let's celebrate "the forgetting of Twilight". Let's celebrate by remembering what vampires were and always should be; heartless killers and predators that lurk in the shadows. They deserve to be remembered as one of the most calculating and intelligent monsters, to be feared and not swooned over! That is what's called missing the point.