Banter: The Lost Legend

I'd like to bring your attention to a little-known, cult film from the mid-1980s that will forever be stuck in my mind as incredible fantasy film nostalgia. The film is called Legend and was directed by Ridley Scott and stars Tom Cruise.

Now you might well know this film, but did you know that the version you grew up with might be very different from the version I watched as a kid? 

When I first saw Legend, it was a recording off television on old fashioned VHS in the little United Kingdom, but it was great, a twisted and dark 1980s fantasy adventure. It has everything from the most classic of high fantasy; elves, goblins, fairies, unicorns, demons and devils, all captured with the loving attention to detail only 1980s physical effects can bring. While Tom Cruise is the hero, Tim Curry is positively inhuman and terrifying as the demonic Darkness, surely the most standout performance of his career and nightmare material for any 80s child!

But all was not well in the film's post-production, and Ridley Scott, the studios and distribution companies made some questionable decisions.
Upon theatrical release, the film was deemed too dark and frightening for a general American audience. It was decided that the US would received a greatly cut down edition in cinemas (with a happier, straightforward ending) as well as removing the original score by Jerry Goldsmith (which Scott was never fully satisfied with anyway) in favour of a more 80s sound by Tangerine Dream. All synth and awesome 1980s fantasy sound.

However, while America suffered a drastically cut down version, Europe was considered able to cope with the darker tone and imagery of the original cut! Here we recieved the full film, yet still got the Tangerine Dream soundtrack instead of Goldsmith's original score.    

Now it gets complicated.

In 2002, seventeen years later, a DVD release of Legend was provided to both the US and UK. I was ecstatic to rent this film after so many years from Lovefilm!
...
What has happened to Legend!? I wondered after watching. The soundtrack is definitely wrong, the ending is wrong, and it is lacking some of the most intriguing pieces of dialogue and scenes! 
It had been so long that I wondered if it was only my memory that had confused it or had given me rose-tinted glasses. But the wrong soundtrack had me curious, and after some research I found that the film was indeed a cut version.

This was when I discovered that America and Europe had different versions, and that the general DVD release was of the American theatrical release only! But, contradictorily, this DVD release has the original Jerry Goldsmith score restored. A score no one had previously heard!
So you can imagine my disappointment... Finally seeing this nostalgic (and very excellent!) film again only for it to be a cut version with the wrong music! Even the Americans would be confused since the Tangerine Dream soundtrack is absent.

So following ten years of disappointment, Legend was reborn once again on Blu-ray. This time the Ultimate Edition contains two versions! The short American theatrical release and the "director's cut" aka the European theatrical release, both with the restored Jerry Goldsmith score.

Wait... what?

Indeed, neither versions on the Blu-ray have the 1985 release Tangerine Dream soundtrack!
So imagine many children of the 1980s, now grown up but unable to revisit the version of the film they grew up with!

Say what you will of 1980s music, but for those of us who grew up with the film, that music was integral to the story, characters and overall feel of the film. Didn't it make it very 80s? Of course it did, but it was an 80s fantasy film in every other respect. Tangerine Dream gave it even more definition, and by comparison the Goldsmith score is positively disinterested.

As a result, we of the United Kingdom can somewhat rest easy with the original extended cut returning to us in the Blu-ray Ultimate Edition, and the American's can see what they have been missing out on, but the total lack of regard for the Tangerine Dream soundtrack is quite disheartening for everyone!
As children we have no regard for some other soundtrack that never got released... and as adults we don't care for it either other than as a curiosity. We want the film we grew up with, we want the film that resides in our minds forever. Why give us something that isn't what we remember?

The film has aged surprisingly well and marks the end of a time when classic fantasy fairytale epics got this sort of treatment; do you honestly expect Ridley Scott to do this sort of thing again? Not likely.
But the question on my mind is: "Will the original version I saw... the extended edition with the 1980s Tangerine Dream soundtrack ever be released on a digital format?" 
I can but hope, but for now it is what it is, legend.

If you have not seen the film and I have piqued your interest with this post, I implore you to go find a copy. While my perfect edition no longer exists... I ask that you only see the longer version!

  

The Best and Worst of 2012

2011 had its fair share of total duds in terms of films, but 2012 has reset the balance with a spectacle of impressive movies!
There were a lot from my favourite genres and several returning and recurring franchises that I have enjoyed, so I want to stress how tight the top fifty or so films really are! In fact, there are very few films this year I would qualify as bad (expect some of the "worst" to simply be "deliberately bad") and so I've had to be strict with the higher levels! We are talking personal opinion and nitpicking galore here, and I know there are a couple that the general public would rage about!

It has been a year of high anticipation and gallons of hype what with Avengers, Skyfall, Dark Knight Rises, The Hobbit and Prometheus, let's see how it has resolved for Cinema Cocoa! The top ten and worst ten in descending order, along with the other seventy-seven films I have seen (both in the cinema and on DVD!) a total of ninety-seven films this year!

1. Skyfall
A defining moment in the franchise's fifty year history! Sam Mendes directs one of the most stand-out, kinetic and character based Bond films ever! I cannot fault it; characters are well written, the action is tight and streamlined, soundtrack is solid, and it honors its traditions with delicacy!
Could the best of Bond continue into the future??

2. Avengers Assemble (2D)
They said it could not be done, that comic continuity and bizarro-combinations could not make the transition to the big screen. Yet director Joss Whedon finally gets the recognition he deserves as a writer and director! Marvel Studios (and Disney!) combine several years' development and films together into a fun action romp! 

3. Drive
I didn't know how I would feel about Drive, after everyone raved about it, but at the end of the day I cannot shake the mood and tone of the film from my mind. Ryan Gosling plays it cool as a heist driver, while a retro soundtrack fills your ears and glossy, dark and neon visuals sweep over you. A great thriller.

4. Senna
It is hard to rate a documentary beside films like Drive and Skyfall, but in terms of capturing a sport such as Formula 1, you cannot go wrong with Senna. The social and political dramas that ensue are shown using entirely stock footage from the sport, overlaid with voice-overs. It is a compelling and emotionally charged piece of storytelling.

5. Chronicle
In a time of such over-saturation of comicbook superheroes and stories in the film industry, it is nice to see an independently made film become so successful! Chronicle from the outside may appear generic (American High School, you say?) but the payoff and where the film takes its characters is unbelievably intense!

6. The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (HFR 3D)
Looking at The Hobbit's sixth place honestly you can see this as a terrible loss. Following the jaw-dropping Lord of the Rings films with the same film-makers, The Hobbit should be at the very top! But while it is an extraordinary show of film making (and it should be seen!) and a visual feast, this first installment has split the crowd!

7. Looper
Like Chronicle, it is nice to see unique and non-franchise based science fiction getting some attention, and Looper is suitably up my alley in terms of themes, atmosphere and visuals! It uses time-travel in ways previously unexplored, and while it can never be perfect, I found it very convincing. Good to see old Bruce Willis can still pick his films well!

8. Dredd (3D)
A visual treat! Stunningly bloody, gory and oh-so violent, yet as it is often the case with these things, Dredd does not come off as cheap or phony; it becomes a piece of art. Much like the comics that it is based off, the film reeks of the 1990s grunge era, and it is so encased that you cannot help but admire its blood splattered, drug-abusing spectacle!

9. The Woman in Black
At last, a traditional horror/chiller movie that works. Daniel Radcliffe bounces easily away from the Potter franchise in this bump-in-the-night Haunted House movie by Hammer Studios. While some of the scares might be typical jump-scares, I was immersed, and I was also glad the film managed to shut up restless 12A teens in the audience!

10. Brave (2D)
My tenth place was extremely hard fought for. You could place any of the next four or five here, but... I don't know, I enjoyed Pixar's Brave a great deal. Yes, it is packed with Scottish stereotypes, but it has such a beautiful look; the atmosphere is thick with mysticism and... and damnit that hair! Just look at it!



The Artist
Bunraku
The Raid
Argo
Snow White & The Huntsman
The Dark Knight Rises
Prometheus (3D)
The Cabin in the Woods
Rise of the Guardians (2D)
Tyrannosaur
Arrietty
Into the Wild
Invictus
War Horse
Lawless
John Carter
Super 8
Real Steel
Captain America: The First Avenger
Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol
Ted
The Muppets
The Conversation
Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy
Men in Black 3 (3D)
Puss in Boots (2D)
Ice Age 4: Continental Drift (2D)
Iron Sky
Fahrenheit 451
The Grey
The Expendables 2
The Amazing Spider-Man (2D)
Sinister
Catfish
The Guard
End of Watch
In Time
Another Earth
THX 1138 (2004 Director's Cut)
Attack the Block
Win Win
Arthur Christmas
Adventureland
Fright Night
Borat
Haywire
Warrior
Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists
Everything Must Go
The Great Debaters
Limitless
Tetsuo: The Iron Man
50/50
Chico & Rita
The Thing (2011)
Trick 'r Treat
The Bourne Legacy
Abraham Lincoln - Vampire Hunter (3D)
Total Recall (2012)
Wrath of the Titans (3D)
Unknown
Super
Broken Embraces
Mirror Mirror
Conan the Barbarian (2011)
Catch-22
Anonymous
Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs (2D)
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides
A Christmas Carol 2D (2011)
The Hunger Games
Submarine
The Town
Hostel
I Am Number Four
Subway

10. The Rum Diary
Described as a comedy, yet lacking completely in humour, Johnny Depp's return to Hunter S. Thompson's material proves to be directionless and totally disengaging. A non-threatening antagonist, choppy editing and perhaps made more "tasteful" for general audiences unlike Fear and Loathing. This rum has no kick.

9. Red Lights
Three of my favourite actors in one place, a great setup for an intense thriller, and yet... so... so tedious. Red Lights suffers from an asinine script, moving from blatant exposition drawl to simply missing any and all good sense; the film has no identity, what genre does it want to be a part of?? Dialogue that is heavy on jargon does not help either.

8. Cars 2
Hello, Pixar. I've not seen you down here before. I liked Cars, I think I am one of the few who did, but no I didn't think it needed a sequel. Here is the evidence! Cars 2 is an obnoxious waste of time. It is noisy, abrasive, frustrating and unintelligent, for some reason focusing on the character of Mater! Four words not associated with Pixar at all!! 

7. Star Wars: The Clone Wars
Ugh. In light of recent events, could the Clone Wars movie actually be George Lucas' film swansong of franchise ownership? If it is... I cannot think of anything more suitable. An uninspiring kiddie-friendly romp through the Star Wars universe, sticking safely and soundly with familiar faces and settings with mediocre to poor CGI animation.

6. Season of the Witch
With the potential combo of Ron Perlman and Nicolas Cage, the film somehow squanders its opportunity by becoming a predictable bore. Somehow the fun is sucked out of it. Watch Sorcerer's Apprentice or Black Death instead! Uninspired and defused of excitement.

5. Species 4 - Awakening
Early in the year I went looking for a bad film, where better to look than the ludicrous Species series? While it is better than Species 3.... (that... isn't saying much) Awakening still has none of the get-up-and-go silly hilarity of the first film, none of the 1990s lovable nonsense. Ultimately, it is (obviously) poor and irrelevant.

4. Mega Shark Vs Giant Octopus
Something of a cult favourite, and it put The Asylum studios on the map, this film has to be this far down simply because... well... its really really bad. It is deliberately bad to the point it is funny, and if you haven't seen Mega Shark attack an airborne plane yet I suggest you find it now on Youtube! Do it.

Now.

3. Insidious
Ugh... So, Insidious was stupid. Very stupid, to the point where it is laughable. I don't think I once found this sideshow attraction the least bit scary! Predictable and with some of the worst secondary characters I have seen in a horror film that is trying to take itself seriously. I wish it wasn't, but they are definitely playing this one straight!

2. The Machine Girl
A bit like Mega Shark Vs Giant Octopus, The Machine Girl is a deliberate gore-fest involving a Japanese school girl with a machine gun for an arm. Now, I did watch this, and I expected more. It is just an hour of people with red paint squirting out of fake arm stumps. I was hoping for some decent gore, not student-level budget (even that is doing a disservice to student films...)

1. Devil
I won't get these eighty minutes back. Thank god it was only eighty though. What a load of timid, blatant lack of scares. This is meant to be scary?? The idea could have been an intelligent look at humanity, but instead it is a ham-fisted attempt at a generic horror cliche. It has no intelligence, no merit. Yes, the Japanese school girl making red paint burst out of people was more compelling than this!



There you have it! I am sure there will be plenty of arguments today about how Devil is your favourite film of all time, or that Drive really wasn't that good! But, this is my opinion, and I share it with you because it is entertaining to see the varying viewpoints of art.

Plus, this year has been surprisingly difficult with so many top quality films! Just because Dark Knight Rises didn't make the top 10 doesn't mean it is bad, it just means I felt it was missing that special something to elevate it as high as the others.

I was super excited for 2012's film line up and it has paid off in spades! 2013 I think we will get some more unique movies. Tarantino's Django Unchained, Lincoln, A Good Day to Die Hard, Iron Man 3, Oz: The Great and Powerful, and that's just naming a few! 

It looks like it will be a year for variety!

Review: Total Recall

The very definition of style over substance. As in, there isn't any of the latter.

Douglas Quaid is a man unsatisfied with how his life has turned out, living in a distant future where Earth has been ravaged by war, and only two continents survive, the United Kingdom and Australia, connected by "The Fall", a gigantic elevator through the centre of the Earth. Quaid visits "Rekall", a place were you can have any memory you wish implanted, only to get more than he bargained for.

While based off the novel "We Can Remember it For You Wholesale" by Phillip K. Dick, this is actually a remake of the 1990 Arnold Schwarzenegger film, with some swap-and-changed characters, settings and enemies (not to mention toned down for its 12A rating...) but the character's story remains the same.

Total Recall is pretty vacuous. It is a "trailer film", where the trailer sells it to you, but there isn't anything else to see upon watching the movie. I must say I liked the world designs, the synthetic robot security, the places felt lived in and crammed with details. Okay, so these details are often ripped from Blade Runner, but I can't pick apart everything!

My problem with the film is that after a while... I stopped caring. That is quite rare for me, I like my science fiction. The problem lies in the film's total lack of ambiguity. You assume that this film toys with Quaid's unknown identity, that he is never certain who he is? Well, Colin Farrell does a good job looking bewildered most of the time, but it is pretty clear who and what he is! The script hasn't the intelligence or sophistication to dupe the audience, ever, the best it can do is pretend to. Red herrings with massive bells ringing on them!
Immediately, the story's hook is neutralised, and you are simply watching bloodless robots getting mashed up, and occupy yourself with how brainless the world's society and economics are.

Oh, and one thing that really gets my back up in films. Bad casting. Do not have two actresses who look near identical in your film, especially if the film revolves around ambiguity, false identities, relationship triangles and flashbacks!

I think if you are thirteen or fourteen you will enjoy this film a lot!

Trilogy Review: Men in Black

Men in Black

You know, when this came out in 1997 I loved it, yet shamefully I have not watched it for years; this film is great!

Based off a Marvel Comic (originally Malibu comics) Men in Black follows a New York cop who is enlisted into a secret organisation assembled to protect the public from alien invaders. Agent K (Tommy Lee Jones) instructs the new Agent J (Will Smith) when a hostile bodysnatching Bug lands on Earth and threatens humanity’s existence!
The two actors are two of my favourites, and the film capitalised both of their talents while at the peaks of their careers; they have ridiculous amounts of on screen chemistry, almost every line is witty, memorable and very funny!

What’s also noteworthy is the creature design (it did win the Oscar award for best make-up) special effects (sure, they’ve dated, but this film looks pretty slick for 1997!) and even the score by Danny Elfman has its own personality without falling into “generic Elfman sound”.

I believe this film is embedded in my mind; even as I watch it I feel as though there is a laughter track after the jokes, as if I can remember the audience reactions. It is a unique and sometimes surprisingly adult science fiction comedy; there’s a lot of swear words here given its PG rating! But that makes me like it even more, it’s the last of an era in film were creators could be liberal and didn’t have to slap 12A on everything.

I love it, very, very close to Ghostbusters levels of awesome. It has great dialogue and humour that isn’t stupid, often intelligent, and is just an all around fun experience, recommended for all.

Additional Marshmallows: Did you know, Clint Eastwood was approached for the part of Agent K?

Men in Black 2

Five years later in 2002, the Men in Black return...  but they unfortunately leave behind the rich enjoyment in the previous century.
An experienced Agent J is now working alone; unable to find a new partner who can replace Agent K, but when an alien dominatrix arrives on Earth he needs the knowledge his old partner once had to stop her.
The film has a promising start. We see Agent J no longer a rookie yet angry from missing his old partner; many agents regard him with anxiety as he neuralizes most of his new partners. However, I’m sorry to say, the plot quickly becomes mindless when the liberated Agent K is awkwardly woven back into the story.

MiB1’s ending was bitter sweet, but gratifying. The sequel backtracks yet the script does not capitalise with these characters in the same way; the two agents spent most of their time arguing and complaining and the chemistry once shared feels lukewarm without the student/mentor relationship of the first film. Instead the jokes are dished out by the talking dog and the Worm aliens, who get repetitive quickly.

With a lacklustre villain, a throwaway romance, an illogical and seemingly transparent doomsday plot device, Men in Black 2 is sadly quite forgettable. Yes it has more aliens, and the occasional flare of class, but it stumbles around with too many toys to make it worthwhile.

Men in Black 3 (3D)

Ten years after a quite disastrous second act, the Men in Black return to the big screen with a time travel caper. On face value, it is even less promising, but in actuality... it’s an almost full recovery!

When an alien with a grudge against Agent K breaks from prison and alters time so he never existed, Agent J must go back to the 1960s and save his partner. He’ll need help though, and who better than the younger version of K himself?

I was very hesitant to see this, especially after reminding myself of MiB2, with time travel and Tommy Lee Jones only on screen for the beginning and end segments, but I was more than happy to see the film recovering the sense of humour in the first film, and actually having an understandable script! Plus, Josh Brolin plays the younger Tommy Lee Jones, and does a pretty fantastic job of it.

The creatures on show are as interesting as ever, the villain is much better than in MiB2. The 3D unsurprisingly isn’t necessary; there are one or two gimmick shots but nothing excessive. The plot, well when time travel is concerned there’s always problems. Agent K is erased from history, my first problem is... why is Agent J still with MiB if K wasn’t around to recruit him? There is a nice sting in the tail of this story though, which links with the original film... but again, time travel, paradoxes, aaaargh.

I was very pleased with the end result though. While it may have missed some beats that the original wouldn’t have, time travel is always hokey, and there’s little to no consistency with secondary characters throughout the films, it recovers the franchise nicely for one last hurrah.

We just don’t talk about the utterly... utterly horrendous song by Pitbull, right?