So another year has ended and I gotta say, personally, this year hasn't been amazing for film, at least not with its blockbusters. Marvel Studios have never been stronger however, both Guardians of the Galaxy and the Captain America sequel being massively successful.
There was a good run of thrillers and dark dramas and biopics though, and some of the best films of 2014 were the films no one expected.
So here is my final leaderboard for 2014! As I describe each year, this is a list of every film I have seen this year that I've never seen before; the films that are "new to me". So as well as theatrical releases I also have rentals that I saw this year.
People ask why I do this, but I believe that in the endless pantheon of film, all films can be compared regardless of when it was released.
(But don't worry,I will have a second list below this one that is exclusively theatrical releases!)
There's a total of 72 films this year!
1. How to Train Your Dragon 2 (3D)
Surprise! 2010's How to Train Your Dragon was a underrated masterpiece that really didn't require a sequel. In fact I was worried this would ruin the joy and novelty of the first film... and while a lot of people forget about this for their top 10 lists (probably due to a huge spoiler in its trailer, tip: don't watch the trailer) I still loved it!
Issues from the trailer were my only grievances, and it isn't fair to judge the movie on that. I felt right at home watching this film; a return to characters that I fully enjoy watching.
It is a joyous, happy and challenging kids movie that maintains the original's quality and style.
2. Guardians of the Galaxy (2D)
Yup, possibly Marvel's biggest surprise; appearing on top lists everywhere and changing so many people's minds. Harking back to old retro sci-fi and action concepts, Guardians is a popping, colourful and ridiculously quotable movie with the best soundtrack of the year!
Why is it second and not first place? It is incredibly close... But Guardians took me a couple of viewings to fully appreciate. I loved it, but at first it can be a total flurry of constant action, and throws a lot at you; if you aren't on board with it, it will leave you behind!
If you like Pina Colada! Gettin' caaaaught in the rain!
3. Dead Poets Society
The first of my DVD rentals on my top ten list, sadly being the film I watched to lament the late Robin Williams. But Dead Poets Society was an excellent and moving movie and it is criminal I had not watched it until now!
Robin Williams gives such an impassioned performance as the sort of school teacher everyone would love to have; to teach them about how to be creative in such a monotonous and systematic society. Despite being an older film, its messages still ring with truth, and I can forgive some deliberate screenplay writing.
4. The Wolf of Wall Street
Yes, The Wolf of Wall Street was in 2014!
What impressed me the most about Martin Scorsese and Leonardo DiCaprio's latest offering was how for a long (and arguably repetitive) film, I was captivated from start to finish, and never noticed how many minutes were flying by.
This is mostly due to DiCaprio who makes such a corrupt and deplorable lifestyle seem perfectly reasonable and sells his ethics with bold integrity.
Couple all of that with a black sense of humour, it was dynamic and hilarious all the way through.
5. Captain America - The Winter Soldier (3D)
Probably Marvel's darkest and most violent film with gun play and more realistic brawls and carnage, Captain America 2 delivers a extremely strong punch to the comic book series.
It also does what Captain America 1 and even Avengers Assemble together couldn't manage: make Captain America himself look awesome.
A good supporting cast as well as great action sequences and a good villain/nemesis with the titular Winter Soldier.
6. Gone Girl
The first of two incredible and dark thrillers that have surprised me this year, Gone Girl for me was a total gear change from the rest of this year's Marvel dominance.
While Ben Affleck is perfectly okay in his role, the show is completely stolen by Rosamund Pike as Amy, playing an incredibly complex character and quite likely a career defining role. Awesome movie!
Sadly I cannot say more without spoiling it, but David Fincher delivers here and if you want a dark, seedy thriller I highly recommend it.
It is only sixth on this list because it loses some of its traction and skill in the final act.
7. Nightcrawler
Basically what I just said for Gone Girl, only with Jake Gyllenhaal completely dominating the show.
Another dark and seedy thriller showing not only the depravity of the media business and their lust for violence, but also how far a human mind can sink to simply be recognised and feel meaningful.
It is a simple story, simpler than Gone Girl's screenplay, but it is extremely effective and very dark.
8. Planet of the Apes (1968)
You are probably thinking: wtf? But upon release of this years Dawn, I wanted to finally watch all of the Apes films.
I was dreading it, mostly for how they may have dated extremely badly, and certainly many of them have (the last few are tragic) but the first film, the original, but this film still has a lot of relevance and great subtext if you can see past some old film making!
Watching this proves to me why the Apes franchise is so effective and how the new films have gripped me, they have a great foundation with this film!
9. Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (3D)
While not as effective as its predecessor Rise of the Planet of the Apes, at least as a character piece, Dawn has incredible action sequences and evolves the story perfectly without missing many of the beats.
I think the moment you see a monkey riding a horse while firing two automatic assault rifles... and you aren't thinking it is completely stupid... you know the film is amazing.
10. Her
Towards the end of the year I cramped three films of 2014 I hadn't managed to catch in the cinema, and Her was one of them.
Unlike every other film on this top ten, Her is a quiet, morose and sensitive story with a quirky near-future sci-fi twist on your usual love story. I enjoyed its subtly and its performances, but mostly its original setting and ingenuity.
This is an entirely likely future for us as human beings.
X-Men: Days of Future Past (3D)
The Lego Movie (3D)
Transformers: Age of Extinction (2D)
Lucy
Edge of Tomorrow (2D)
Idiocracy
Snowpiercer
The Grand Budapest Hotel
Pain and Gain
I Saw the Devil
Under the Skin
The Raid 2
Fury
The Imitation Game
A Serious Man
Interstellar (2D)
A Most Wanted Man
The Machine
The Great Gatsby (2013)
Sin City: A Dame to Kill For (3D)
The Zero Theorem
The Men Who Stare at Goats
The Great Gatsby (1974)
Gojira (1954)
Beneath the Planet of the Apes
Hitchcock
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2 (2D)
The Conjuring
The Guest
Godzilla: King of the Monsters (1956)
The Amazing Spider-man 2 (3D)
300: Rise of an Empire (2D)
The Family
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2D)
The Purge: Anarchy
Before I Go to Sleep
The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies (2D)
Hummingbird
Safe
Primer
White House Down
Godzilla (2014)
The Boxtrolls (2D)
Conquest of the Planet of the Apes
Welcome to the Punch
Escape from the Planet of the Apes
Turbo
The Monuments Men
The Babadook
The Heat
Olympus has Fallen
Society
10. RoboCop (2014)
So they remade RoboCop.
They made it a 12A.
Yeah so it crashed and burned: from the total lukewarm action sequences replacing the gory, memorable ultra violence of the original, to the utterly phoned in performances (especially from Samuel L Jackson)
A great example of how pointless and needless 12A remakes really are, providing no originality, nothing memorable and designed simply to soak up some cash with a brand.
9. Battle for the Planet of the Apes
The weakest Planet of the Apes film from the old series (yeah, ignoring the Tim Burton film) but mostly due to worsening budget cuts throughout the series, the concept of making a final epic battle with less than two million dollars was impossible.
Not only this, but there's roaring great continuity problems which is only comparable to the second worst Apes film, Escape from the Planet of the Apes.
A very disappointing and sad end to the Apes franchise.
8. Starship Troopers 3: Marauder
Oh yeah, I watched the Starship Troopers sequels in 2014, I actually went there.
Marauder is instantly forgettable, but it does attempt to expand the universe with some integrity unlike the second sequel. It still has a lot of problems and reeks of television budget, but at least the tone and themes here are a little more in keeping with the original film.
7. Insidious - Chapter 2
Ugh... Insidious... again.
So Insidious was at the very bottom of my list, so having its sequel only in the seventh worst spot says something about it by comparison (or says something about the films lower down on this list!)
Chapter 2 is still as bad and not scary as the first film. Oh no, she walked into a child's toy and it made a noise! EEEEEK!
Seriously? But it doesn't have as much stupidity, and doesn't feature Darth Maul, grabbing maybe one or two scares at least...
6. 3 Days to Kill
Kevin Costner tries to do his own Taken to give himself cool points.
It fails.
Amber Heard is also starring, but only proving she cannot act, maybe due to her character being utterly perplexing to begin with.
A phoned in 12A action movie, it kills a couple of hours but certainly not three days, very forgettable.
5. Maleficent (2D)
I despise this movie. I despise what Disney has done with this movie, and more importantly what they have done to one of their most classic and symbolic villains.
I have so much venom for this film that I actively tell people to watch (or indeed re-watch) the classic Sleeping Beauty. I insist that you do. It is my favourite Disney film, because of Maleficent herself.
This. Is. Not. Maleficent.
Disney have potentially ruined one of their classic characters for future generations, and it physically hurts to think that they are even capable of changing a character as much as this. Polar opposite.
The best thing about this film: Jolie's casting for Maleficent.
4. The Purge
The Purge has a great concept, a fantastic and original concept even. A concept that has endless possibilities and the best to create a franchise out of (unlike say, Paranormal Activity)
Luckily there has been a second Purge film that delivered the premise better...
... because The Purge is the most phoned in, boring and unimaginative interpretation of the concept imaginable.
A film that fails its own premise is pretty bad indeed.
3. Starship Troopers 2: Hero of the Federation
Starship Troopers 2 was slammed and condemned when it first arrived, with a very low budget the story was held within one location and played out like an Alien-esque, shadowy horror film.
It has nothing of the original film's sense of humour or wit, instead trying to give the franchise a gory horror movie vibe.
That... isn't what Starship Troopers is about.
2. RoboCop 3
Oh RoboCop 3... how... how positively awful you are.
It is sometimes hard to put into words how bad a film is. I guess the best way to explain this one is how RoboCop himself is barely in it! Peter Weller doesn't return for the role, and the screenwriters still haven't worked out how to progress the character of Alex Murphy, so instead we get a ten year old girl for most of the movie!
No, I am not kidding!
RoboCop 3 is perhaps one of the first cases of a franchise getting milked to death for some quick cash.
Wouldn't buy that for a dollar!
1. Oldboy (2013)
And at the bottom of the pile, the film I boycotted for a year, the film I told myself not to watch, the American remake of my 20th favourite film of all time, Oldboy.
I guess I have no excuses to not watch the Twilight movies now...
This movie is so bad that even if you ignore the fact that it is a remake it is still an awful film. It reeks of Americanisation and the lack of honouring and adaptation that the worst of remakes can provide. It has none of the original's style or blunt force poetry.
It simply exists, like an infectious leech.
And now a quicker run through the THEATRICAL RELEASES ONLY list:
01. How to Train Your Dragon 2 (3D)
02. Guardians of the Galaxy (2D)
03. The Wolf of Wall Street
04. Captain America - The Winter Soldier (3D)
05. Gone Girl
06. Nightcrawler
07. Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (3D)
08. Her
09. X-Men: Days of Future Past (3D)
10. The Lego Movie (3D)
Transformers: Age of Extinction (2D)
Lucy
Edge of Tomorrow (2D)
Snowpiercer
The Grand Budapest Hotel
Under the Skin
The Raid 2
Fury
The Imitation Game
Interstellar (2D)
A Most Wanted Man
Sin City: A Dame to Kill For (3D)
The Zero Theorem
The Guest
The Amazing Spider-man 2 (3D)
300: Rise of an Empire (2D)
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2D)
10. The Purge: Anarchy
09. Before I Go to Sleep
08. The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies (2D)
07. Godzilla (2014)
06. The Boxtrolls (2D)
05. The Monuments Men
04. The Babadook
03. RoboCop (2014)
02. 3 Days to Kill
01. Maleficent (2D)
Ooft, that's right, The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies is in the bottom ten for theatre releases!
Remake Rumble...? More like Remake Execution.
So, against my better judgment I've decided to do this particular Remake Rumble! I guess it wouldn't leave my mind until I had seen it through. Read, and feel the frustration!
Oldboy (2003)
The definition of a revenge tale, beautifully savage and cynically dark in humour, Oldboy is one of those films that gets better and better each time you watch.
A drunken, hopeless father is abducted on his daughter's birthday and imprisoned in a room for fifteen years. When he is mysteriously released, he swears vengeance on whoever took his life away.
It is hardest to write a review of a film you like so much. If you look at Cinema Cocoa's first post, you will find Oldboy makes the twentieth spot on my top fifty films, yet I don't remember how I came by this film originally. All I do remember is the impact it left on me as a piece of film making!
Directed by Chan-wook Park, Oldboy crams almost every facet of revenge into its two hour runtime and packages it with great cinematography and a wonderful score. With Min-sik Choi as the leading man providing a great range of acting talent, there's a fantastic sense of dedication and integrity to the film.
But praise doesn't stop there. The film is remarkably well paced for how many scenarios it plays out and how complex the screenplay becomes. Like peeling an onion, every scene and every set piece has a purpose to unlocking the mystery behind our hero's plight, the writing just dropping enough hints that... if you are clever enough and reading between the lines... audiences can start to puzzle it all together.
I've seen this film at least three times now and it is safe to say I appreciate more and more each time!
Why only three times? I've had the DVD in my collection for years! Well, Oldboy is not the easiest film to watch, it certainly might turn some people's stomachs and there is one scene involving a claw hammer that makes me squirm every time and just thinking about it makes my teeth hurt...
But while the film is intensely violent (the corridor fight scene has gone down in cinema history by now!) I forget the wicked, black sense of humour that runs all the way through also. This film has an awesome script and Min-sik Choi delivers his lines and reacts to his internal monologues with incredibly sick jest. I laugh with him, and as the film says: "Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Weep, and you weep alone."
How much longer can I gush about a film? Not much longer as I don't want to spoil it by telling you too much. The film has a surrealist edge, though like the violence it is somewhat restrained in preference of a calm, methodical dive into madness. At times Oldboy just seems like a casual stroll with morose, almost reluctant tones, and I think that's why I enjoy it so much; while the violence is visceral at its heights, it isn't a slasher movie... it is a thriller.
With a screenplay so layered and mysterious, with acting both subtle and outrageous, intense action and a script both comic and horrible, Oldboy offers everything and fails at none of them. By the end your mind will be bruised and sore from the ordeal, yet amazed at the masterful execution of it all!
Oldboy (2013)
Spike Lee directs a watery, shallow remake of the cult Korean film. Josh Brolin weeps, and Josh Brolin weeps alone.
A drunken father and failing husband finds himself imprisoned for twenty years in a mock-up hotel room. When he is released he aims to clear his name, reunite with his daughter and find whoever locked him away for so long.
Okay, so as you can tell already I love the original movie and a remake by its very existence will frustrate me. In fact I boycotted seeing this film originally, that's how low my expectations were! This Oldboy received such a critical hammering (no pun intended) that I was prepared to forget it even existed... but that would be ignorant of me...
Initially, I had some hope this film would be just "average" and not the train wreck I feared; Josh Brolin is probably the best American to fill the acting range and physical ability to fill Min-sik Choi's formidable shoes, and automatically I knew (mostly from having such an indepth understanding of the original) how this American version's twist ending would differ. It seemed vaguely promising.
But almost like a reversal of the original film, where it gets better and better, this film gets worse and worse... and worse.
None of the original's black humour is present, none of it, unless you count laughing at all the wrong parts to be edgy comedy. The editing is terrible, what was Spike Lee doing with this?? It has zero gravity or atmosphere, and feels more like running through a checklist of requirements such as the shoehorned nods to the original like... showing us an octopus! For no reason! The characters even act unnaturally in scenes just to have a shot framed like the original! Then... there's the hammer scene. Badly choreographed, badly structured... it pales in comparison.
Part of what made the original so interesting was how interwoven its screenplay became as you watched the puzzle unlock, but here, there's none of that, it just plods along like any other cliche hostage movie.
Oh, but we have Samuel L. Jackson, and he swears a lot! Is that... supposed to be the humour coming through? Having an actor playing the same role he plays in sodding everything he's ever done?
Then...
There's Sharlto Copley. The guy who used to be cool from District 9. Good... lord.
So, this film becomes something of a "who done it?" in the second act, Brolin's Joseph is trying to find who had imprisoned him. He gets a phone call from Copley's Adrian who is putting on the most generic, cringeworthy, stereotypical upper-class British accent you can fathom! Good god, Spike Lee, what... This is NOT acting, this is hamming it up! I swear, at the end of this film, he is walking around like Nosferatu!
And remember, we are in America. Are you telling me that when Joseph finds the antagonist went to the same school as him he didn't consider: "Hm, who at my school had a CARTOONISHLY BRITISH ACCENT LIKE THE ONE I JUST HEARD ON THE PHONE?"
Sorry, I will try to regain my composure.
Asides a cartoon villain, Nick Fury, bad film-making, and terrible homages to the original I tried to see this as a unique film. Many people say don't compare remakes to the original (despite how that is a completely ridiculous concept)
America's Oldboy could have been quite interesting had it distanced itself more from the original, what we get it something lost in translation, like an abridged version or worse: a parody. I think what damages it most is its finale, and its villain's motivations... or rather lack thereof.
Even the violence is toned down, I even saw a computer generated blood splatter. Seriously? Though the sexual content was higher than expected, given how America hates that sort of thing.
This film isn't just a direct insult to the original masterpiece, this is an insult to American movie making. If you are going to remake something, at least try and do a good job with it! Don't say something like: "Oh, well the Korean film was weird, so dumb Western audiences will take my shoddy, cliche script and bad directing as avant garde and self-aware that it is of Asian origin!"
Additional Marshmallows: Why one full, happy, marshmallow-filled cup of cocoa? You ask? Josh Brolin... and the sliver of original thought that was buried under the nonsense of abusing someone else's original idea.
So I finally have some time off to talk about this.
I have had some criticism about my opinion regarding remakes, and this post has been a long time in the making.
I hate remakes. "Hate" may be a strong word, and I am well aware that there are exceptions and examples that blur the lines of what isn't acceptable... but for the most part remakes/reboots/re-envisioning, or whatever you want to call them, are dreadful, unnecessary cash-ins that lack all sense of respect or creativity.
Let's go head first into the most recent debacle:
RoboCop.
The 1987 original was not based off existing source material, it was not an adaptation, it was the film industry (and a pioneering screenwriter's) unique and original story. It was popular too! Spinning off two sequels (of questionable quality) a kids cartoon, a toyline and a television show. All from a screenplay no one had any preconceptions for. All from a script that could have failed, bombed and to never resurface.
Why? Because it was given its own personality. Director Paul Verhoeven is an artist with a distinct style, elevating Robocop above the rest, and allowing its message to be remembered and cherished over the decades.
RoboCop 2014 on the other hand. Sure, it is reminding us how popular the original is by merely existing, it is as much a tribute as the original's sequels (and about as good).
And of course, the original still exists, why be bothered about a new interpretation?
Well asides from it being generally a BAD movie, I'll tell you.
Do we honestly believe that RoboCop 2014 will be remembered three decades on, in 2044, as fondly as the Paul Verhoeven version was? Does a skeptical, cynical audience going in to see a film only to come out saying things like: "Well, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be" really a testament to memorable, masterful film making?
No! It most certainly is not.
I ask again, will anyone care, quote or remember RoboCop 2014 in the year 2044? Sure, the kids who went to see it might. In the same way I hold the original to my heart. But you want to know the difference there?
RoboCop 1987 was an 18, an R-rated film. I had to wait to experience it. RoboCop 2014 is a bland 12A experience. A kid getting it immediately has none of the anticipation, or any of the gleeful daring of simply getting to watch it.
In 2050 when we look back at the film history between the years of 2000 and 2020 what will we say for it as a medium? Oh, well they adapted comicbooks, they copied and remade creative properties, they even rebooted adaptations not five years old (cough, Spider-man, cough). Is that a good legacy to remember?
Need another example?
Remember the Total Recall remake only two years ago? No? It had Colin Farrell in it. No? With the crazy elevator-thing that went through the centre of the Earth? Nothing? Point made.
Of course, these two are money spinners, plain and simple. Total Recall 2012 had the opportunity to follow Phillip K. Dick's original book "We Can Remember it for You Wholesale" more closely than the Schwarzenegger film. But it decided to lazily remake the existing film. Best to try and hit average than to burn out trying to be your own adaptation, right?
I've yet to watch the Spike Lee Oldboy remake... I hold the original Chan-wook Park film in such high regard... but from the overwhelming amounts of criticism that panned the remake before it had even released makes my point for me.
(I will watch it... one day... you need my opinion, after all.)
The same goes for The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. Funny. The original Swedish film managed to weave the entire trilogy together with a remarkable sense of continuity, something rarely seen in even the most popular trilogies and sagas.
How many entries of the trilogy did the David Fincher remake get through?
...
Oh... Oh I see, just the one? No worries; you join my pile of ammunition too.
(Don't even get me started on how those two examples are merely because people are too lazy to read subtitles).
Now at this point I could keep going and skirt around what many of you are now arguing against me with. But I will address it, don't worry:
Judge Dredd / Dredd.
Possibly the biggest exception to any rule. But hear me out.
Sylvester Stallone's 1995 Judge Dredd is awful.
Now sure it has been long enough that the film has entered "So bad its good" territory, but that doesn't ignore the fact that it is an awful film. It is awful in how it doesn't respect the source material, and as a result it has fallen into obscurity.
2012's Dredd was a necessary remake. The source is excellent and lends itself to film interpretation, and director Pete Travis and actor Karl Urban obviously saw it as such. What we got is so far removed from the 1995 version (Judge Dredd was a 15, though by today's standards it could easily be a 12A, while Dredd is very, very much an 18 or R-rating!) that they are almost indistinguishable.
They didn't "remake" Judge Dredd, they made a more faithful adaptation of the source.
People argue with me that "You shouldn't compare" the remake to the original. But how can you not? Dredd by its own merits is an incredible achievement, but it earns that by being so much better than the 1995 film, no? Look who's comparing now.
I insist that when it comes to remakes or reboots, comparison is absolutely vital. If not, then your Total Recalls, RoboCops, Spider-Man-Infinitums will not stop, and we will end up with a creative medium that simply regurgitates itself, making obscene profits from an audience rolling over and mumbling: "Eh, it wasn't too bad."
Finally, people ask me what could be done instead?
I'm certain that there are many, many, many original screenplays out there that Hollywood outright ignores in preference for remaking classics. Screenplays written by talented individuals who deserve recognition and/or a visionary director to make their dream come to life. Your RoboCops of the 1980s. Something fresh and exciting with new characters and new worlds, to define a generation with and make new franchises with.
Even if it is a screenplay even remotely similar to an existing property, that is better than straight up remaking that property. You want an example of that concept? How about instead of remaking RoboCop, why not have a soldier from the wars in the middle east come home terribly wounded only to be reborn as a half-man, half-machine soldier? Why not? Relevant to the times, new characters, new settings. New franchise.
No. That wouldn't work, I hear you cry. Everyone will know it is a rip-off RoboCop.
You see this original film from 1991? One of the first major films from Academy award winning director Kathryn Bigelow? Point Break?
It could be regarded as the original to this:
It is a common comparison, but no one cries that The Fast and the Furious is just a rip off of Point Break, do they? No, of course not. What happened to this very similar "remake"? Did it fade off into obscurity? No, it just made millions, had video games franchises, and inspired just six sequels.
(by the way, there's only ten years between these two films)
Does my belief in an original screenplay similar to RoboCop doing better than a direct remake seem so ridiculous now?
And just to end this with a big, fat nail in the coffin...
Point Break is getting a remake next year.
