Review: Pixels

On the surface, this doesn't look bad, but as a comedy it just isn’t funny and is a black mark to geek culture.

After a probe carrying a video message expressing Human culture is taken as a challenge from alien life, a trio of 1980s gamer nerds become the only hope for Earth’s survival.If you haven’t been aware, Pixels has been globally destroyed by critics having released in America earlier. Now it has reached the United Kingdom and honestly, I couldn’t fathom the hatred being leveled at it; sure, the trailer looks dumb but nothing to get frustrated about. But I have to admit I can see why.

At the turn of the millennium the appreciation of geek culture has skyrocketed, especially in the film industry what with Marvel’s dominance of the box office, regardless of which studio produced the movies. If Pixels is to be regarded in any broad sense, it can be seen as the first step of overconfidence for geek culture.

Of course, Marvel is comic books, Pixels is loosely based off numerous video game characters such as Donkey Kong (from the original Jump Man game) Centipede, Pac-Man and Q-Bert, and let’s face it, video game adaptations when they are actually based off a game with narrative, seldom work in Hollywood!

Pixels is not based off these much loved characters, but contains them. This film is about Adam Sandler, a drop out loser who’s only skills rely on arcade game sticks and buttons (he is “Second best in The World” apparently) now living the life of a house-call tech repairman. Who has a direct line to the White House Oval Office as his best friend is The President of the United States (played by Kevin James, of Paul Blart: Mall Cop fame…)

Now if you can get through this opening without asking (with cynical realism) why he can’t be gifted a better job by his best friend The President, you still have to get through Sandler’s character depicted as a moron without social skills hitting on a woman, in her own home, who he doesn’t know, after her husband leaves her. And of course they hook up by the end (spoilers).

To say Pixels does more harm than good to the blooming geek culture is an understatement. If this scenario actually happened, the aliens are screwed. We are more invested these days in video games today than we have ever been, we hold tournaments worth millions, it is an industry that is slowly matching the film industry in influence. To see this film blatantly ignoring this fact, trapping its characters in some backward 80s society where geeks are repressed and incompetent human beings is completely baffling.

So yes, I understand the hatred being directed at this film on personal levels.

But the rest of the film, the action sequences and everything not-Sandler, it is noisy but very colourful. I find myself asking questions like: “Why is this not-genuine-80s video game buxom blonde warrior woman now a good guy?”; “Why is Pac-Man the villain and the ghosts are good guys, when every other game interpretation has our heroes play the hero?”; “How did they have Mini Coopers set up in advance without knowing Pac Man would be invading?”; “Why does Q-Bert speak English when his thing is to not speak English?”
Y’know, relevant, life changing questions…

Also, why are Brian Cox and Sean Bean in this film? Come on guys, you are better than this!Possibly the only shining light in this film is Game of Thrones star Peter Dinklage, who appears to have accepted the nonsense he is in and is hamming it up endlessly. Reminds me of Jeremy Irons in Dungeons and Dragons.

Oh, and Tetris blocks destroying a building, that looked cool and made me chuckle.But everything else falls very badly to the wayside. The jokes are not written well, there are barely any punchlines and actors, especially Josh Gad, apparently thought “SHOUTING = funny” and perhaps one of the worst British stereotypes. I'm sure it'll entertain children though, this... 12A film with bad language and sexual references.

Additional Marshmallows: I've never walked out of a film, but this film coupled with the teeny-popper girls kicking my seat in my absurdly busy screening, almost convinced me to.

Additional, additional Marshmallows: Watching the pudgy Kevin James physically attempt to play Jump Man is embarrassing, considering he doesn't jump any barrels, preferring to waddle to one side of the ladders and let the barrels roll past.

Additional Marshamallows: WHY was there a random guy with a computer for a brain??

Review: X-Men: Days of Future Past (3D)

My days of watching all the past X-Men films paid off; director Bryan Singer's return to the franchise not only triumphs but rights many of the wrongs with the series! The future seems bright again. (Yep, I just used the film's title in my opening statement)

In the distant future the world is torn apart by war. The human prejudice against mutants escalated so far as to create robots known as Sentinels; changelings that adapt to mercilessly track and kill mutants. When they begin to target humans too, Professor Xavier and Eric Lehnsherr work together and send Wolverine's mind back in time to the eve of the Sentinels' creation by Dr. Bolivar Trask. But that's the easy part; Wolverine must convince a traumatised young Xavier, rescue an imprisoned Magneto, and find the mutant who can disguise herself as anyone before she can doom all of their futures.

When this film starts, and the opening titles start with that familiar victorious theme from X2 (John Ottman returns for this film's score) I knew things were going to get good! We are shown the bleak future left for our heroes, Iceman, Xavier, Magneto, Storm, Wolverine, Kitty and some new faces as they are attacked repeatedly from super-advanced machines. There is something of an exposition dump during this sequence, which I found a little nebulous to grasp at first. But once they send old Wolverine back to the 1970s, things get interesting.

This film has a great sense of humour. Something of a mix between Matthew Vaughn's First Class (he assisted writing this film) and Bryan Singer's first two movies. We see Logan pre-Weapon-X days with bone claws, but with the memories of future events, confront our heroes from Vaughn's prequel, a confused and troubled Xavier (James McAvoy) and a deceptive Magneto (Michael Fassbender). The film isn't suffering from lame "Oh, its Wolverine in the 70s!" jokes but there is a sense of fun throughout events. Especially when they enlist the help of one mutant named Quicksilver. Possibly the most riotous fun the entire series has ever had!

Of course, things get intense too, Singer has always had an edge to his X-Men films, and Days of Future Past has some pretty unpleasant, brutal sequences! Even the not metal-infused Wolverine gets beaten up badly!
I would also say that for once Magneto doesn't steal the show. There's a lot more focus here on Jennifer Lawrence's Mystique (probably because of her rising stardom) and McAvoy's Xavier, which I appreciated; throughout the films the Professor has had very little to do. This film isn't just action and powers being thrown around, the characters do have something to say.

The film's strength lies in what some might consider its only weakness. Like the roots of a tree, the story links and curls around previous adventures, combining virtually all of the films into one massive experience. As it stands on its own, it is a blasting, continuous adventure giving only brief moments to pause, but if someone has followed all of the films to date (to some extent including the Wolverine films too) they will love it.
I was grateful I'd watched the old films again, though Logan's time traveling allows for brief flashbacks (or is that flashforwards?) to remind us of events past and future. I do love films that act as sequels and prequels.

All of our favourite characters and actors are back in surely one of the most star studded comic book films yet, and amazingly it doesn't collapse under the weight! Sure, there are a couple of lingering questions on my mind, but not enough to detract from the overall entertainment.

I'll definitely be watching it again! Is it as good as X2 in my mind? I don't know yet, but it sure feels like the good old days are back again: good, solid and exciting entertainment!

 

Review: Elf

So I finally get around to seeing this after multiple Cinema Cocoa fans ask me to review it.
Oh people will be cross with me.

Buddy is a little too big to be an elf because he is in fact a human being, and when he's told this he is sent back from the North Pole to the human world... New York to be exact. There he finds his real father, a stick-in-the-mud businessman who has very little Christmas spirit. Will Buddy's love of Christmas restore his father's clouded mind?
Well... sort of.

There are classic Christmas films and then there are Christmas films, Elf is a Will Ferrell Christmas film... and honestly he gets my back up at the best of times. He plays Buddy, a man who has been brought up with the mind of a child by Santa's elf helpers, only to be tossed into New York city on his own. While he revels in eating gum off the street he somehow gets a job in a shopping mall after being mistaken to be a floor assistant in costume (................. there's a massive problem right there, no?) Where he meets Jovie, our love interest for the movie.

For all Ferrell's mindless antics that are both hit and miss, I understand what Elf wants to be. His father Walter is clearly Scrooge and Buddy's free spirited, childlike wonder is his only salvation (and Walter is probably the most compelling character) but what the film fails at is making our "New York" characters particularly interesting. The strong character moments that would make this a Christmas classic are pushed aside so Farrell can chew more scenery (literally) and the third act... oh dear. We don't really want emotional investment, so here's a sudden, random action sequence instead! Yay?

Ack. A lot of you don't like me anymore!
I will grant you that Elf is a fun film, and I'd recommend it for all the family and especially for kids.  There are some genuinely funny moments that are built up nicely, like when Buddy meets a shopping mall worker dressed up as Santa. You know its going to go badly, and it certainly does! I liked how Santa's one comment about Buddy's human father was: "He's on my naughty list" and how soul destroying this fact is for Buddy. There are lots of funny moments, don't get me wrong.

Personally it hits right in the middle; its good fun but it isn't a particularly heartwarming Christmas tale; its an awful lot of by-the-numbers storytelling and faffing around. Perhaps I'm just suffering from the "over-hyped" syndrome? 

Additional Marshmallows: My FAVOURITE bit of the movie? Those little stop-frame animated North Pole animals! They were so cute! The little snow puffin thing?? Why weren't they in the film more, they were great!